Knowhow: tips for a first date – 12 rules, 12 ideas, 32 conversation topics

tips for a first date (1)

Complete guide offers tips for a first date, including what to wear on a first date, how to relax and be yourself, the 12 golden tules, 12 ideas for where to go and 32 conversation topics to prevent awkward silences.

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A first date is always exciting and can be very different depending on the location, the conversations and the personality of the other. We will help you with important tips, special ideas and a variety of topics to talk about so that you can improve your chances of a second date.

Below you will find everything you need to know: the best tips for first date success. We explain to you how to behave properly, which outfit is the right one and which topics of conversation are taboo for the first meeting. Also, learn how to find the right time for that first kiss and whether sex on a first date is for you. Inspire the other with a special date idea and be perfectly prepared with our 32 topics of conversation.

Tips for a first date: the 12 golden rules

A first date is always a new, exciting experience that one is never really prepared for. So that you can score points on your first date and have better chances of a second and third date, we will help you with important tips. They concern the right outfit and styling, your appearance and possible no-gos .

The first rule in dating is to be yourself and not to pretend . That would either make the other skeptical or they would begin to like a person who you are actually not. Especially if you are looking for a committed relationship , you should be as open and natural as possible.

Tips for a first date: Confident attitude

Being confident is an advantage on the first date. It covers up your nervousness and shows that you are an independent person with your own opinion and your own life. Submission can quickly become desperate and unattractive. However, if the other person gets the impression that you are satisfied with yourself and are not chasing a dream, you are leaving a strong impression.

A self-confident attitude requires a clear look, a straight demeanor and no fear of clear statements. It radiates that you feel comfortable in your own skin. This is how you make your counterpart feel comfortable too. Of course, you shouldn’t overdo it with being in love with yourself. Showing off or arrogant behavior will end your date early or reduce your chances of a second date. Just try to convey that you are satisfied and happy with your life. This zest for life will also be noticed by your date who will feel more attracted to you. You show the other person that you are a great personality who can enrich their life.

Tips for a first date: what to wear on a first date

Where women suddenly wear high heels and put on heavy make-up, men might get the idea of ​​appearing in suits and patent leather shoes. Most of the time, the other person will appreciate it if you show yourself how you dress. After all, you should feel good so that you can get involved on the date. In the evening it can of course be a little more elegant than during the day. But always think about beforehand whether your outfit is practical enough. For example, if you’re going to have a picnic, you should also be able to sit comfortably in your clothes.

Tips for a first date: Styling and personal care

Personal hygiene is very important before the first date and is crucial for the very first impression. So showering and washing your hair are a must, even deodorant and perfume in moderation (!) Cannot do any harm. Be prepared for anything , even if you don’t expect physical contact to occur.

When styling, as with an outfit, you should show that you have thought about it, but not overdo it. A well-groomed appearance is always well received by the counterpart. Make sure, however, that you still remain yourself. An approachable, natural person appears much more sympathetic than an artificial, distant person who is constantly concerned about their appearance.

As a woman with long hair, you should also adapt your hairstyle to the date. If you go out for cocktails in the evening, you can of course invest a little more time in hairstyling. But if you play table tennis together or go to an amusement park, you should be prepared for sweat, wind and weather. A braid is probably best here. Always choose a hairstyle that you feel comfortable with and that you have already worn. Otherwise, you will likely spend a lot of time in front of the mirror.

Tips for a first date: Realistic expectations

Some singles are already hoping for a dream partner or a future together based on the first date. It is very likely that these ideas are not only utopian, but also counterproductive. Those who have too high expectations of others can only be disappointed. You often only recognize a dream man or woman over time, when it becomes clear how well you actually fit together. So if the first impression on the first date wasn’t perfect, but you get along well, maybe you should give your date another chance.

Move away from the ideal image in your head and just be open to the person sitting across from you. When choosing your dating partner, you should not only respond to optical wishes, but also consider people who seem likeable or humorous to you. If you get along really well on the first date and are on the same wavelength, the attraction will probably work too.

Tips for a first date: Reveal something about your personality

A first date is there to get the most accurate impression possible of the other person. This impression decides whether the other looks at you on the friendship level, can imagine a relationship with you or maybe just wants to spend one night with you.

It is important that the other person can read your personality. This is the only way your date can judge whether you are a good match. Those who close themselves off and appear distant also make it difficult for their date to open up to themselves. After all, you also want to know what makes the other person tick and whether your basic attitude towards life fits together.

Therefore, it is best to talk about your everyday life, your friends, vacations and hobbies. What fascinates you and what do you value in life? Make sure that your date has their say and that you too can learn something. If you are excited about similar things, have similar moral values, or even goals for the future , you have a good chance of a second date.

On the other hand, avoid overly private or sensitive topics such as strokes of fate or bad phases in your life. They are yours and it’s right to talk about them, but not on a first date. If you have only known each other for such a short time, such topics can embarrass the other and change the mood. If, for whatever reason, a sensitive topic should arise, try to deal with it as casually as possible and find other things to talk about quickly.

Tips for a first date: Express your own opinion

Making a good impression doesn’t mean that you have to speak up to the other person. On the one hand, you would pretend, on the other hand, conversations in which one person only agrees to the other are very monotonous in the long run. So if a topic comes up that you have a different opinion about, feel free to express it. But stay in your perspective. Saying your own opinion doesn’t mean having to criticize the other person or systematically refute the opinion of your date.

After all, there should be no discussion, just an exchange of different points of view. It doesn’t always have to be right and wrong; it is enough if you can build an interesting conversation through your different opinions . This also shows the other person how you are made and what he can expect from you.

Tips for a first date: Conscious listening

Some people tend to monologue when they’re nervous on the first date. Especially if the other person is more introverted and there is no embarrassing silence, people just keep talking. However, you can’t really get to know each other and notice after the date at the latest that there was no meaningful conversation.

That’s why it’s important to keep reminding yourself to listen to the other during the first date – and to do so very consciously. Look him in the eye and let him talk . Listen carefully and react to what is said with facial expressions, gestures or your own anecdotes. So you will probably have a wide variety of topics of conversation and get to know each other better. The amount of conversation on the first date should always be about the same. 

Tips for a first date: Don’t talk about your ex-partner

Questions like “When was your last relationship?” keep coming up on the first date. You can also answer that calmly. What you shouldn’t do, however, is start talking about your ex. Nor should you go into the details of why you broke up.

If your date asks you why you broke up with your previous partner, stay as discreet as possible. Such topics should only arise on the third, fourth or fifth date if possible. A first date is there to get closer and to get the most intense impression possible of your personality and attitude to life. Conversations about exes can negatively affect your mood and can make you seem like you haven’t gotten over your ex.

Tips for a first date: Avoid the friend zone

Even if an informal and relaxed atmosphere helps getting to know each other, the date should still be exciting. If you can talk like good old friends, that’s very nice, but it can also lead to the friend zone. You can avoid them by constantly making eye contact and flirting a little. Flirting will help you maintain the tension during the date and make it clear that you are not only interested in friends. 

First date kiss: the right time

A first date doesn’t necessarily lead to a kiss if the mood isn’t right. Depending on the type of date you have, more or less romantic moments can arise. For example, if you go into an escape room together, you will probably be more engaged in the puzzle. But when you go for a walk and picnic, some romantic moments can arise.

The right time for a kiss is usually noticeable through long eye contact and body contact. If your counterpart avoids your eyes, this is either a signal of shyness or disinterest. A mischievous smile when looking down can be a signal that a kiss is desired. However, if your date avoids your looks several times and doesn’t smile, you shouldn’t try a kiss.

Whether you even kiss on the first date always depends on your character traits and your expectations of the date. Anyone looking for a one-night stand is more likely to force a kiss than someone who only has friendly feelings for their counterpart or who wants to take time to get to know each other because they want a relationship. .

First date sex: yes or no?

There are reasons that speak against sex on a first date, but there are also reasons that speak in favor of it. The decision about it should be based on your expectations and your personality . If you’re hoping for a little more from the meeting, or maybe looking for a relationship, you shouldn’t have sex on the first date. The risk is too great that you will be disappointed afterwards and regret it if you are labeled as a one-night stand.

However, if you value sex very much and he could decide whether you can envision a relationship, there is nothing against it. The only thing that matters is how you deal with the situation afterwards . If you can’t separate feelings and sex and feel remorse afterwards, you should wait a little longer until you know each other better.

Tips for a first date: Who pays?

Whether everyone pays for themselves at the end of the first date or someone takes over the bill is entirely dependent on the individual setting and the course of the date . Some women still like it when the man invites them, others are uncomfortable. If both of you know that it simply didn’t work, it’s up to you whether you want to take the bill as an appreciative gesture or not.

In any case, if you take the bill, it reinforces the positive impression and improves your chances of a second date . However, if you notice that the other person insists on paying themselves, you should allow them to.

Tips for a first date: 12 special ideas

In the following you will find many great ideas for a first date that provide entertainment and deviate from the classic meeting in the bar or restaurant. Especially if you’ve both already had a few dates, it’s nice to be able to stand out from the usual locations such as restaurants or bars . In addition, it is often noisy there and you cannot talk undisturbed. If you still want to have a drink during your date, a picnic by the lake or a dinner cooked together with a few glasses of wine is also suitable.

Most dates take place in the evening. Alternatively, it is also nice to meet during the day . Especially if you are looking for a relationship, this is a great way to signal that you are not looking for an overnight date. During the day there is simply a different mood and you have the opportunity to extend your date as you wish.

Just pick a thing or two from the list you’d like to do and suggest it to your date. Showing initiative always goes down well and you can guarantee that the date will definitely be fun for you. If the other person isn’t interested in your ideas at all, you shouldn’t give up and let them suggest something. It is important that both are comfortable with the decision.

Play table tennis

Doing a little sport together is ideal if you are both athletic and like games. In table tennis you are not so far apart that you can have a good chat while doing it . It’s an easy sport that doesn’t sweat a lot and you can just take breaks in between to have a drink or something to eat. Go to play table tennis either in a hall or in a park near you.

Play minigolf

Mini golf is very well suited for a first date, as you are not under time pressure and do not have to concentrate too much, but you are busy longer. Even if it sounds clichéd, you can also help each other and create a somewhat romantic atmosphere. If one of you is particularly untalented at mini golf, there is also a lot to laugh about.

Escape room

An escape room is definitely an original idea for a first date. It’s perfect if you both like puzzles and games. In addition, you quickly develop a bond with each other because you work together as a team on the solutions. You immediately experience yourself in an extreme situation in which you will feel frustration, joy and stress. Through this date you can quickly assess the comprehension, patience and team spirit of the other and know whether he is suitable for a second date.

Another advantage is that you are kept busy and there are no embarrassing breaks. Afterwards you can also talk about what was the most difficult for you and how you liked it. It’s best to have a drink or something to eat after the game, when you’ve noticed that you are a good match.

City tour

Be tourists in your own city. Big cities, in particular, offer so many opportunities that neither of you have seen everything there yet. Either do a normal city ​​tour during the day in a certain district that you choose or even an exciting night tour .

Often you can also book catering or just go on a culinary tour of the city , where there is always something to try. The tours usually last between one and two hours. So then you can talk about it and maybe do something else as well. Take a look online to see what offers are available in your city and suggest a tour to your date that you would also like.

Go to a flea market

Flea markets always have a few surprises in store. Even if you don’t want to buy anything, you can talk about the things on offer. You just walk around comfortably and find new topics of conversation at each stand. Be it old children’s toys, CDs, clothes, antique furniture, board games or other things that you have owned at some point or at least dreamed of. Perhaps you’ve even been to a flea market yourself to sell something and can report on it. Either way, a first date at the flea market is a nice experience.

Forest walk or park walk

A walk in the forest is not only incredibly calming , there is also a lot to discover. Especially if you both live in a big city, going into the forest is a nice experience. Maybe some childhood memories come back to life or you just enjoy the quiet nature. During a walk you can have a good time ( for example about forest bathing) and take a break in between. Bring something to drink and a few snacks and then maybe go for a coffee or something to eat.

Picnic by the lake and pedal boating

This first date idea is more for spring or summer days. But if the weather is good, a picnic and a ride on a pedal boat is a very nice and romantic idea. Find a lake near you, take a blanket and a few snacks with you such as salad, bread, fruit or cheese.

For drinks should be taken care of. Don’t take anything with you that needs to be kept refrigerated or that perishes easily. After your picnic you can go on a pedal boat ride together. This ensures exercise after eating and certainly a lot of fun.

Cooking together

The volume level is usually quite high in restaurants and bars. There are many other people around you and the atmosphere is usually not very relaxed. However, if you cook something yourself on the first date, you can talk in peace.

The person proposing this date should offer to have it at their home. You should discuss beforehand what you like and who has which allergies so that you can decide together on a dish. The recipe shouldn’t be too complicated so that you can better focus on the conversation.

The good thing about a chef date is that you get to know each other’s home and immediately get a good impression of their life . You are undisturbed and have something to do. In addition, a romantic mood can arise when cooking. End the evening after dinner on the couch with a glass of wine.

Drive-in cinema or open air cinema

Open air cinemas are a great location for a first date, especially in spring or summer . In a normal cinema you can hardly talk or not at all. In an open air cinema, the atmosphere is more relaxed and you can sit down a little to the side so that you can have a better conversation .

If there are breaks in conversation, you just watch the film for a while until you think of something new. It’s best to choose a movie that you both already know or a classic that isn’t that action-packed and where you can’t miss something important every few minutes.

If either of you has a car, a drive-in theater is even better for private conversations . If you want to give your date a positive surprise, take a few drinks and snacks to the cinema. You don’t have to overdo it, but a little attention always makes a good impression.

Visit a wildlife park

If animals are important to you, a visit to the wildlife park is a great idea for a first date. You can stroke and feed animals together , go for a walk and certainly have a coffee somewhere nearby. So you can find out right away how your date treats animals and possibly get to know their loving side directly.

Go to brunch

Brunch has the advantage that it is rather cozy in contrast to evening dates . So both will probably not dress up and go on a date in an everyday look . So both can get to know each other roughly the way they are usually dressed. The atmosphere at brunch is also more casual than in a chic restaurant. It’s more of a casual mood, which benefits your flow of speech .

Go to a museum

Find out if there is a nice exhibition in a museum near you. So you can walk calmly through the gallery and chat about the exhibits . In addition, discussions about past museum visits and trips are encouraged. You will learn what artistic taste the other person has and get to know each other better. But only go to the museum if you both like it . Otherwise, your first date would begin right away with having to pretend.

32 topics of conversation to prevent uncomfortable silence

These topics of conversation are not always easy to initiate, but often one topic leads to the next and you can connect them together. For example, on the subject of family, you can share about your childhood, past pets and special family traditions. School time, school friends, teachers and your worst subjects can also be discussed here. If both of them talk a little about each topic, the first date will fly by.

  1. Astrology sign / Spirit Animals
  2. Favorite food / diet / preference for cooking
  3. Favorite place in your city
  4. Friends, roommates
  5. Family, family traditions
  6. Favorite films / current films in the cinema / series on Netflix
  7. Books
  8. study or job
  9. Hobbies
  10. Sport and fitness
  11. Special character traits
  12. Travel, language courses , travel diaries , Work and Travel
  13. Childhood, home, childhood heroes, children’s series and films
  14. Extraordinary experiences
  15. Your life if you won the lottery
  16. Festivals, music and instruments
  17. How do you live Describe your apartments.
  18. Trash TV
  19. School time, classmates and teachers
  20. The best locations to celebrate
  21. Phobias and weird habits
  22. Where do you really want to go again?
  23. The worst gifts you have ever received
  24. Pets
  25. What are you good at? What not at all?
  26. City trip, ski or beach vacation?
  27. Favorite city in the world
  28. What languages do you speak?
  29. Lookout points in your city
  30. future plans
  31. What was the happiest moment in your life?
  32. A typical Sunday?

genevieve dumas new Genevieve Dumas is a design, fashion, food and style writer who has worked on major magazines and mastheads in the United States and Europe.