What is the best way to respond to rude people? Our guide outlines how to respond and to change your thinking so you are armoured against rudeness.
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Most of the time, the right answers to rude people only come to mind hours later. Annoying. It doesn’t have to be! But how do I get quick-witted?
Who does not know this experience: Be it the colleague who puts us down in front of the assembled team, the aggressive car driver who insults us badly or the passer-by at the checkout line. Most of the time we just look confused and remain silent. And feel bad. But even those who are not a rhetorical marvel, but rather a wallflower type, can change something and arm themselves for such situations.
Repartee is a way of life. Not a rhetorical ability. And each of us can learn to react better in stupid situations. And directly – not hours later.display
Here are a few important food for thought and tips for all people who are often speechless when others are rude to them.
You do not have to stay silent
If someone attacks, criticizes or puts us down completely unexpectedly, we have two options: keep quiet or respond. Silence is a bad choice. And ultimately everyone should ask themselves: What do we have to lose? The situation you are in right now is already unpleasant. So we can hardly make it much worse.
So why not dare something and throw a suitable answer at the head of the attacker? Or at least show him crystal clear: You have gone too far. If that is accompanied by stuttering and red ears the first time: It doesn’t matter! Practice creates masters.
This is just the beginning of your repartee career. If our counterpart is talking himself in a rage, a polite question is often enough: “Am I correct that you are calling me a stupid cow?” Often a “Wow” or “I see it differently” or “As you think” is enough.
Even shy people can counter and respond to rude people
Not only the super eloquent power woman or alpha male can defend themselves in difficult situations. Even a quiet mouse has its strengths. She just has to recognize it in herself. Those who tend to be the quiet type don’t have to become a super rhetorician and shout back loudly in the event of a conflict.
Sometimes small gestures and targeted facial expressions are enough to show the other person that they have gone too far. And to make ourselves feel good that we haven’t given in. That gives you self-confidence for the next time. Anyone who can prick an eyebrow has a clear advantage here. Then you don’t have to say much anymore. Especially since you don’t want to start a long conversation with some rumbling people.
Typically female
Unfortunately women more than men always look for the hidden meaning, try to understand. And not infrequently we go further and blame ourselves when someone attacks us. “Did I do something wrong?” or “Did I unconsciously provoke the aggressive guy or put the bitchy colleague in a stupid position?”
We shouldn’t ask ourselves these questions. We should be clear: If someone comes to us completely stupid and attacks us verbally, then we should slowly roll up the white flag and react appropriately.
We have to learn to let things ricochet off and not take everything personally. The guy who yells at us at the supermarket checkout even though he has pushed his way doesn’t have a problem with us personally. He’s having a bad day, he’s aggressive, may have inferiority problems – whatever he’s got, it’s not our problem.
And that’s why we shouldn’t make it ours. At the latest, “I’m sorry if you’re in a bad mood, but you don’t have to take it out on me” is almost always possible.
Here are a few more important lessons that we should heed to respond to rude people:
- Raise your protective shield: Let rude or inappropriate remarks bounce off you.
- We no longer wear shoes that do not fit us. Better still: We don’t even try them on anymore.
- Start loving yourself. You are perfect the way you are.
- Who can dish rudeness out is dangerous. But whoever can take it is indestrucible.
- If criticism of you is warranted, stand by it, accept it, and apologize for your behavior.
- Humor means not only laughing at others, but also at yourself.
- Show clearly your limits and think of your body language.
