Outlines how to not cry at work or in public with 10 strategies that can keep you calm and composed in public, and make sure your tears don’t appear.
An unjust reprimand from the boss, an unfriendly policeman during a check, emotions during a birthday speech – tears well up that you definitely don’t want to show at this moment. A few tricks we outline below will help to avoid wet eyes.
Basically, it is perfectly okay to cry uncontrollably even for a trivial reason – for example when watching a cheesy love story. But there are situations in which tears come to our eyes when we don’t want them to. Helpless anger because we feel that we have been treated unfairly by a manager is a typical moment.
Why we cry
The body reacts to grief, frustration, lovesickness and tragic events with tears. This is completely normal and brings our feelings back into balance.
- When feelings have built up, the body wants to relieve this emotional burden. And he does that with tears. It doesn’t necessarily need a sad occasion, there are also tears of joy.
- Tears create distance from the situation that caused the feelings. When you’ve grieved, you tend to see the situation more clearly.
- If possible, let your tears flow. Because that can have physical consequences. The feelings and their energy have to go somewhere.
- Holding back tears can lead to migraines and body aches. Stomach problems can also occur.
- If you suppress your feelings for a long time, this can lead to depression or burnout.
How to not cry at work and in public
These four tricks will help hold back tears if we don’t want to show ourselves naked and look relaxed:
Prepare if possible
Visualize the situation you are afraid of beforehand. Practice reactions. This makes it easier for you to control your emotions.
If you know you cry easily, prepare accordingly for conversations with your boss. Prepare yourself for unpleasant situations and criticism that could come and think about how you react to them – find a confident answer that shoots out of you instead of tears. When salary negotiations or other work discussions are approaching, crying beforehand can help so that the conversation ultimately remains objective.
Leave the room
Successful women have long recommended this: endure situations, go outside, then cry and then pretend nothing has happened. It’s the easiest way to prevent tears from being seen. If you want, you can then make the marks disappear with a good concealer. The catch is holding out until you’re alone. Until then, use some of the strategies below…
Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth
Press the emotional reset button by pressing your tongue firmly against the roof of your mouth. You cannot say anything, but the concentration and the tension in your mouth suppress the tears.
Blink and look up
Both are good for bridging until you can leave the room or even overcome the situation. Looking up is not inconspicuous, but could, depending on the situation, be disguised as a confident rolling eyes. When you blink, tears are spread over the eyes so that they are absorbed more quickly by the tear duct.
A brief pain stimulus can stop the tears. For example, pinch your cheek or palm briefly. This will focus your attention away from the grief.
The principle is very simple: you have to distract the brain from the tears. Because as soon as they come, you just concentrate on it, reproach yourself for having to cry and, in the worst case, cry about having to cry. Simple distractions include pinching your arm or tickling your palms. Both will change your emotional state.
Stop, breathe in and out deeply. Count to ten. When you calm down, your feelings become less meaningful and it is easier for you to hold back your tears.
The advice to take a deep breath is no accident. It just helps to get away from the emotions. Inhaling and exhaling deeply is like a kind of first aid meditation that works super fast.
Relax facial muscles
Consciously relax your facial muscles so as not to cry. Because when we are emotionally stressed, we raise our eyebrows together – not a good prerequisite for staying calm.
Hold your breath
Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold the breath for four seconds and exhale slowly through your mouth – almost like yoga, but noiselessly. Those who concentrate on their breathing can control rising waves of emotions, suppress tears and perhaps even thoughtless words.
Pinch your hand
Firmly pinch the skin between your thumb and forefinger. The little pain should help immediately against damp eyes.
Accept your feelings
You are upset and that makes sense. You have to process what you have experienced. Face and accept your tears and you’ll soon be less emotional — and stop crying more quickly.
Why a few tears are actually healthy for you
Those who cry were always previously labeled as unstable. Today we know that crying has many positive aspects and is not a sign of weakness at all.
Crying can help us live healthier lives
Most of us hide our tears because we are ashamed of them. Anyone who just starts crying is considered weak and unstable. “Crybaby” – we remember this abuse word from childhood and we definitely don’t want to be that anymore. But what to do if it makes you feel desperate or sad? Aren’t you trying to swallow your tears and hold back from crying? In the best case scenario, we only allow ourselves to cry in our own private room at home. But actually we should do this a lot more often and not be ashamed of it at all, because crying helps us live healthier. How it works? Just like that!
Crying is a sign of strength – seven reasons
Science agrees: crying is healthy and even a sign of strength of character. In fact, people who allow themselves to cry are usually healthier than people who suppress their feelings. For example, tears that are pushed away can lead to stomach problems, depression or anxiety. Yes, even asthma is blamed by doctors. If you need more arguments just to press your lacrimal gland more often in the future – these seven reasons are guaranteed to convince you:
1. If you live your feelings and do not suppress crying, you live healthier, because you stabilize your emotional balance and free your mind from stressful emotions .
2. Your breathing is regulated and relaxation begins. You will feel calmer after the crying fit .
3. Tears before bed or at night promote a peaceful sleep .
4. Howling can also be a means of communication and usually leads to better understanding of you.
5. Because tear fluid is full to the brim with antibacterial substances such as lysozyme, it cleans and cares for the eyes .
6. The lacrimal glands are comparable to a chemistry laboratory. When you cry, happiness hormones such as endorphins and calming and pain relieving substances are released.
7. Crying helps reduce stress . This is also the reason why we sometimes start crying out of being overwhelmed.
But be careful: cheating is not an option. If you just start crying in an attempt to achieve something, all the positive side effects will not occur. In order to enjoy the healthy aspects of crying, it takes the whole spectrum of feelings. Because it is only through them that the beneficial hormones and messenger substances are released.