Comprehensive guide on how to stop thinking about someone outlines the simple psychology tricks to refocus your thoughts.
Find more health guides, tips and advice
People we like can leave lasting impressions on us, and it’s very hard to get them out of your head even when it’s time to move on.
Have you ever gotten so distracted by the thought of someone that you just can’t work, study, or even enjoy a decent cup of coffee? Don’t worry about it. You are not crazy. You don’t need to see a doctor just yet. You are rethinking someone.
Why do people get stuck on thinking about someone?
When you like someone you can’t help but think about all the things that are associated with them. The time they spent together, their characteristics, the little memories of the things they did or the places they have been, everything spins in his head.
When the relationship is going well, such thoughts are more than welcome. When something goes wrong and you just want to move on, these thoughts can be a completely unwanted distraction.
It is understandable that you would want to relive all of the good things you have been through with this person, but at times you can be accompanied by depressing thoughts. That is why you feel the need to forget a person. The only problem is that the intensity of your emotions prevents this.
It’s not just about the affection you have for that person. This may also be due to your insecurities or lack of closure. Whatever the reason, the fact is you want to stop these thoughts.
How do you get someone out of your head?
Most people, that is, your friends, who have an objective view of the situation, think that you can easily stop thinking of someone. They say that just stop thinking is enough and that sooner or later it will happen. That is partly true. They’ll keep going, but some people want to do it quickly.
Nobody can really blame them. Some people are in pain when they think about someone. Hence, it is understandable that they would want to end their fixation immediately. The truth is, getting someone out of your head is not that easy. That’s because the memory of its existence is already engraved on your brain.
The only way to completely forget about them is to amnesia or hypnotize yourself. Both seem like wild ideas, which means you have to go the traditional route: overcome it.
How long will it be before you stop thinking about someone?
Everyone wants to know exactly how long it takes to overcome or forget someone. Most people will tell you that this depends on the level of intimacy and mindset of the people involved. If you do this with this debit business, you may be very disappointed.
According to science, there are possible theories that tell you how long it takes to forget someone, but not necessarily to stop thinking about them. One is that it takes an average of 18 months after a break-up to forget your ex. But a 2007 study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology believes it is three months.
Remember, these are standardized experiments that only involve a tiny percentage of the total population. It’s not an exact science. If you really want a satisfactory answer about how long it takes to stop thinking about someone, here’s what we can do for you – you will remember them for at least three months.
The good news is that there is something you can do to make this process easier and faster.
Exercises to help you stop thinking about someone
Do not worry. We’re not going to give you the usual twist of loving yourself, hanging out with your friends, and finding a new hobby. You know these things work, but here you are. You’re still looking at the same old article hoping to find another answer.
You won’t do it. That’s because the only way to forget someone is by remembering yourself, even with thoughts hovering over them on your periphery. Still, we have a few phases and tips for each phase that can help you regain some semblance of normalcy in your thoughts.
Step 1 – meditation
# 1 Meditate every day. Since unwanted thoughts about someone have become a nuisance in your daily life, you can add something to your routine that is worthwhile.
# 2 Aíslese. Meditate at least 5 minutes a day by finding a quiet place or soaking in noise-canceling headphones while listening to meditation music. Concentrate on your breathing as you inhale and exhale.
# 3 focus! When unwanted thoughts go away, breathe again.
# 4 hold out. Keep going until you have trained yourself to keep unwanted thoughts at bay.
Step 2 – Avoidance
# 1 Make sure you don’t go looking for them. Stay away from any means of communication or contact with this person. Keep telling yourself not to look at them because it will only make your situation worse.
# 2 Don’t give yourself gifts. The experts will tell you to face the unwanted thought and let it go. They don’t mean you should be doing this as often as possible. There has to be a point where you realize that you can control your thoughts. So the final tip is to let it go, which means you shouldn’t look back on these unwanted thoughts at all.
# 3 Decrease your closeness to that person. Stop going to the places they visit frequently. When working with them, avoid them as much as possible. If you find them, don’t include them.
# 4 Accept defeat, but rise above it. If this is unavoidable, then simply don’t care about their presence at this point. It is neither useful nor harmful. They just exist and you have to accept that fact.
Step 3 – Transfer
# 1 Think of something else. When you think about someone, you think of something else very quickly. Something! A plant, a dog, a sewing machine, anything but that person is good enough. Keep going until your thoughts are no longer on that person.
# 2 Think happy thoughts. When you start thinking about a person’s memory, replace it with a good memory. That way, instead of feeling constantly agitated, you’ll feel calmer and more relaxed, and it will be easier to get your thoughts moving on to something that has nothing to do with that person.
# 3 Solve a puzzle. Find a crossword puzzle, play some thought-provoking games on your phone, and build a Lego castle. Mentally challenging activities take up most of your attention and make it easier for you to let go of unwanted thoughts.
Will you ever stop thinking about them?
As we said before, the only way to stop thinking about someone is to suffer brain damage or find a hypnotist who can do it for you.
If you follow these steps you may not forget about a person, but thoughts about them will stop being painful very soon. You can do this if you are willing to make the changes necessary to make it happen sooner.
These exercises are only a temporary relief from the real problem you are facing. Not thinking about someone is not necessarily your last resort. There are other options that you should consider such as: Focus on things that may benefit you such as work, sport and hobby activities.
You don’t have to have unwanted thoughts about someone all the time. You can change what you think and stop thinking about those who hurt you. Why don’t you think of yourself.
How to stop thinking about someone: the top 20 quick strategies
# 1 Decide. What do you really want to do? Do you want to forget this person or just want to stop being obsessed with them? Sometimes clarity is enough to make progress and face reality.
# 2 Take a day or so to examine it. Do not ignore the incident or think about it. Instead, accept the fact that the event occurred. Take a day or two to meditate on this yourself. When you feel saturated with thoughts, let go of it and move on.
# 3 Don’t pretend to yourself. Don’t pretend you don’t miss this person. Don’t try to forget that this person exists. Instead, focus on ways to avoid being affected.
# 4 Find someone else to think about. When you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and most perfect thing to do is to find someone to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing over someone else. It will work like a charm.
# 5 Don’t look for opportunities to get in touch with or meet them. It is easy to fantasize about happy reunions and circumstances. Instead, give up planning to get in touch and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking about them.
# 6 Think about their negative traits. Think about it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined. If you want to avoid falling in love with her, remember and add all of her mistakes.
# 7 Don’t be depressed. It is easy to get depressed and have low self-esteem, especially when you feel like someone has stepped on you. Have fun and have fun. Watch funny YouTube videos or a comedy to help yourself remember what it feels like to laugh.
# 8 Don’t sit idle. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. You heard that before, didn’t you? In this case, the workshop is that space you make in your head. So get busy and don’t think about this person.
# 9 Don’t chase them, either online or offline. Social media has made it a lot easier to track exes and lovers. It may seem like a gift, but it’s still a curse. You will never move forward unless you keep all messages off of this person.
# 10 Respect yourself. That * someone special * passed over you and treated you like trash. They don’t respect you and don’t care about you. Do you think you respect yourself enough? If so, why are you humiliating yourself by being obsessed with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any of your time or love?
# 11 Learn a new activity. Learn or do something that you always enjoy, whether you’re playing games or taking a dance class. It will fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that will eventually erase all traces of the person you are trying to get over.
# 12 Don’t criticize yourself. Do not try to find fault with yourself and find the reasons for your behavior. Sometimes some people are just plain selfish or they just suck. Nothing happens to you.
# 13 Avoid romantic movies. Avoid romantic movies, songs, and shows. It will just awaken all of those blocked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves to torture yourself. Watch funny movies or if you want something even better, watch informative movies with lots of friends.
# 14 Visit new places or go on vacation. Sometimes all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You will come back and feel a lot better.
# 15 Accept the fact that they’re gone. Remember they moved on. You know what? That person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They are probably thinking about someone else right now. It disgusts you, doesn’t it? Accept the fact and let it give you strength.
# 16 Don’t talk about this person to your friends. Avoid talking about this person even if it feels satisfying to talk about them.
# 17 Imagine you’re having some fun. Don’t let your chin drop on the floor. As crappy your life may be, all you need is your initiate to keep going. Get out there, meet people, pretend you’re having fun and you’ll soon have fun without even realizing it.
# 18 Get into a fun rebound relationship. Have you been with this person? Were you in love Or was it just a friend? Your previous marital status does not matter here. All that matters is that you find a way to replace them in your life. We feel bad about the sudden emptiness in our hearts. Fill it up and you won’t feel any pain at all!
# 19 Don’t cling. Don’t let that person know you’re hurt. Remember, the most clingy person who has a hard time moving on is the weakest person in the relationship. And the weaker and more attached you are, the easier it will be for the other person to get over you. Do you really want to make it that easy for him?
# 20 Remember that it will all be over. There is no short-term plan or magic formula here. If you want to know how to stop thinking about someone, you need to take the initiative and be patient. You may not stop liking them today or tomorrow, but it will happen sooner than you think. All it takes is your strength.
Just think of these 20 tips on how to stop thinking about someone you like and who will help you figure out the facts. You have to go on. That person doesn’t care about you anymore. You definitely have what it takes, as long as you believe in yourself.
Genevieve Dumas is a design, fashion, food and style writer who has worked on major magazines and mastheads in the United States and Europe.
